Woody Allen in BANANAS (1971) assists (while grooming) in:

SUMMING UP THE FUTURIST!’s DAY!

(via themaninthegreenshirt)

THE FUTURIST!, dramatically, brings you another …

IF IT’S TUESDAY …

IT MUST BE …

the day that THE FUTURIST! got to see the audition tapes of those hoping to be in THE UTTER DESPAIR NJ COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE new Autumn production of MOMMIE DEAREST: THE MUSICAL.

The acting chops shown in the video above, re-enacting a scene from the camp classic motion picture starring Faye Dunaway, are absolutely mesmerizing. The dramatics soar like the Hindenburg zeppelin did as it hovered aloft over New Jersey  … before it … well, you know … well, it exploded.

There is a weak moment at the end of the choking scene. Our leading actress (the one without a penis) looks into the camera.

Stay in character, sweetheart … stay in character. Always remember to STAY in character. Do not break The 4th Wall.

Brisby Berkley, this season’s playhouse director, says he is almost ready to make a decision on casting.  There is only one final test for the finalists. Those selected finalists will be asked to bring wire hangers to beat his shirtless stage manager, about the torso, as Brisby watches while eating a club sandwich.  A truly fervent display of insane passion will make the cut.

IT’S MONDAY!
Welcome to a street blocked by flaming refuse dumped by a garbage truck.

IT’S MONDAY!

Welcome to a street blocked by flaming refuse dumped by a garbage truck.

One of the many things that THE FUTURIST! learned from his many years at GILMORE GIRLS College.

One of the many things that THE FUTURIST! learned from his many years at GILMORE GIRLS College.

SCENES FROM UTTER DESPAIR NJ
Several years ago, the marquee at The Utter Despair Twin Cinema knew had to say it all.

SCENES FROM UTTER DESPAIR NJ

Several years ago, the marquee at The Utter Despair Twin Cinema knew had to say it all.

THE FUTURIST! Asks …
"uh, why?"

THE FUTURIST! Asks …

"uh, why?"

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES

THE SUNDAY FUNNIES

(via comicbookvintage)

Album Art

THE FUTURIST! likes a little Bacharach on a late Saturday night before a hopefully restful Sunday day-off.

Hence … Tonight’s Closing Music.

Reach Out for the light switch.

ArtistBurt Bacharach
TitleReach Out For Me
AlbumReach Out

THE COWSILLS LOVE MILK!

THE FUTURIST! may be lactose intolerant.

THE RAIN THE PARK AND OTHER THINGS

The Cowsills - 1966

For some reason, THE FUTURIST! finds this song and the images terrifying.

Yet, he feels elated

*hides behind wet bar and brandishes a corkscrew*

A Personal Note from THE FUTURIST!

He hates his Life.

Now resume your own …