From THE FUTURIST!’s Fading Memory Archive:
THE FUTURIST! recalls a vacation from long ago … he was about 17 and sat on the precipice of a huge stone edifice of some Pagan God’s making. He had been told that a dog was Man’s Best Friend. So, he brought along his cousin’s canine named Ranger and asked:
"Ranger, as the most valued compatriot of Male Humankind„ will you please nudge THE TEEN THE FUTURIST! off this ledge? He no longer has the Will or Urge to Live, but has not the nerve to propel himself into the arms of oblivion. He will need your kind domesticated canine assistance."
Ranger licked THE TEEN THE FUTURIST!’s face and made a whimpering noise and then walked to a small vegetative growth nearby, urinated and then chased a small rabbit.
Obviously, THE TEEN THE FUTURIST! could not even be the BEST friend of a dog who finds every moment of his existence a reason to live.