Introduction by Criswell to …

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959) dir: Ed Wood

THE FUTURIST! is scared of The Future.

He wants to go back to The Past.

Does this make him THE PASTEURIST!?

He hopes not. He is a bit lactose intolerant.

A dramatic moment expertly acted by cast members of …

BLOOD FEAST (1963, Herschell Gordon Lewis)

THE FUTURIST! brings you an update on -
THE UTTER DESPAIR NJ STRANGLER
Rumor has it that The Utter Despair NJ Strangler is vacationing in France.
*Tourist photo taken by AND courtesy of Mrs. Louise Yertz of Staten Island, NY.
Mrs. Yertz’ funeral will be held stateside as soon as her family can get the body through customs.

THE FUTURIST! brings you an update on -

THE UTTER DESPAIR NJ STRANGLER

Rumor has it that The Utter Despair NJ Strangler is vacationing in France.

*Tourist photo taken by AND courtesy of Mrs. Louise Yertz of Staten Island, NY.

Mrs. Yertz’ funeral will be held stateside as soon as her family can get the body through customs.

SHOCKtober! Portrait
THE FUTURIST! does not think that is a macabre ventriloquist dummy. He thinks this is a photographic portrait of a man and his …
bizarre mutant child doll?
or a man with his child dressed in a bizarre mutant child costume?
* tosses olives into martini glass *

SHOCKtober! Portrait

THE FUTURIST! does not think that is a macabre ventriloquist dummy. He thinks this is a photographic portrait of a man and his …

bizarre mutant child doll?

or a man with his child dressed in a bizarre mutant child costume?

* tosses olives into martini glass *

THE FUTURIST! brings you a SHOCKtober …
IF IT’S TUESDAY …
IT MUST BE …
A SHOCKtober! moment brought to you by THE FUTURIST! … courtesy of The Utter Despair NJ Travel Bored. (That is not a misspelling!)
THE FUTURIST!’s correspondent Mr. Turning Saints is pictured above awaiting the precise moment that a ray of sun will appear through a slit in an Aztec pyramid and trigger an ancient mechanism … a Rube Goldberg-like device which will open a tomb to the burial place and trophy room of the warrior King MOCTEZUMALETMEGO who was, also, an amazing Jai Alai star.
Rumor has it that this will anger the Mythical Gods and The Aztec Mummy will kill all defilers of his resting place and whoever dare to touch his trophies … especially the really big one with “Class of 1243 Champion and Captain of Cheer Leading Squad” etched on it’s base.
While waiting for this auspicious moment and his possible violent death at the dusty hands of an animated decaying corpse, Mr. Turning Saints is awaiting the arrival of some Mexican take-out.
He hasn’t had lunch.
* photo by Devyn Zoltowski

THE FUTURIST! brings you a SHOCKtober …

IF IT’S TUESDAY …

IT MUST BE …

A SHOCKtober! moment brought to you by THE FUTURIST! … courtesy of The Utter Despair NJ Travel Bored. (That is not a misspelling!)

THE FUTURIST!’s correspondent Mr. Turning Saints is pictured above awaiting the precise moment that a ray of sun will appear through a slit in an Aztec pyramid and trigger an ancient mechanism … a Rube Goldberg-like device which will open a tomb to the burial place and trophy room of the warrior King MOCTEZUMALETMEGO who was, also, an amazing Jai Alai star.

Rumor has it that this will anger the Mythical Gods and The Aztec Mummy will kill all defilers of his resting place and whoever dare to touch his trophies … especially the really big one with “Class of 1243 Champion and Captain of Cheer Leading Squad” etched on it’s base.

While waiting for this auspicious moment and his possible violent death at the dusty hands of an animated decaying corpse, Mr. Turning Saints is awaiting the arrival of some Mexican take-out.

He hasn’t had lunch.

* photo by Devyn Zoltowski

SHOCKtober! SCI-FI!

KUMRU: THE BEAST FROM BEYOND INFINITY * **

* possibly filmed in Utter Despair NJ near Henrik Ibsen High School.

** Possibly

Thanks to Mr. Turning Saints for the 50s Shock infusion

SUMMING UP THE FUTURIST!’s DAY
Thank you, Pink Panther.

SUMMING UP THE FUTURIST!’s DAY

Thank you, Pink Panther.

(via vintage-visuals)

YOU ASKED FOR IT - 1952

BELA LUGOSI’S MAGIC TRICK

THE FUTURIST! Asks …

"The Ham is being served!"

IT’S MONDAY!
RUN! 
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE WEEKEND!

IT’S MONDAY!

RUN!

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO THE WEEKEND!

(via purecinema)

A SHOCKtober! moment is when THE FUTURIST! is invited to his neighbor’s house on Murder at the Vicarage Road and asked to watch their vacation home videos at a living room gathering with fondue and white wine on the weekend.

A SHOCKtober! moment is when THE FUTURIST! is invited to his neighbor’s house on Murder at the Vicarage Road and asked to watch their vacation home videos at a living room gathering with fondue and white wine on the weekend.

(via purecinema)

fuckyeahrobertaltman:

"The Long Goodbye" Theme - John Williams

THE FUTURIST! would like to get really stewed and sing THE LONG GOODBYE title tune on stage at THE THIRD MAN CINEMA PUB.

SHOCKtober! Kids Fun Activities
HOW TO MUMMIFY BARBIE
THE FUTURIST! likes the food and jewels and things for The Afterlife, including Barbie’s purse. And The Death Mask is so happy.

SHOCKtober! Kids Fun Activities

HOW TO MUMMIFY BARBIE

THE FUTURIST! likes the food and jewels and things for The Afterlife, including Barbie’s purse. And The Death Mask is so happy.